So I heard yesterday that some poor, misguided souls in California are attempting to pass a bill that would outlaw spanking. Now, seriously, what will this accomplish? You can't police for it. If I slap my child's wrist just before she reaches for the hot burner, do I go to the slammer? If my way-too-smart toddler sees a policeman and says, "daddy spanked me" to him, does he force me to the ground and slaps the cuffs on while she sits back and laughs?
Now, I'm not a spanker. Never have been. nor is my wife. We both prefer taser guns and violent shaking. Okay, so that was a joke, but let's face it. This bill is meant as an attempt to stop child abuse. And there are already laws around child abuse. There are also millions of vigilant doctors watching their patients for signs of child abuse. What there are NOT, however, are licensing requirements for parenting.
Why not? we have a license to drive. To be a doctor. To practice law. For goodness sakes, we have a license to fish. Yet there's nothing saying that Paris Hilton can't go out, find herself a willing dude, and become the world's worst excuse for parenting values. I know I'd apply for a license. And I'd pass too. That's because I'm the world's greatest dad, or at least that's what my kids say every time I pop in a Dora DVD so that I can head off to the workshop in peace.